Back to College

It's been a week of working on syllabi for classes. It occured to me that the days of student excuses for late or non-existent work like 'the dog ate my paper' are over. Here are a few questions/comments I've heard in recent years. These are the ones that come easily to mind. I may add more later. Feel free to add your own, if you wish.

1. I missed last class. Did I miss anything important? (or) Did you say anything important?

(Nah, I recited the pledge of allegiance and the entire multiplication table - backwards, for three hours)

2. I forgot that the paper was due today. I forgot to read the syllabus.

3. What chapter are we covering tonight?

(Hello! You just admitted to me that you're not prepared for class.)

4. What you said isn't true! I heard on XXXXX's talk show that...

(okaaaay)